5 Top Tips to Improve your Self Love

This is very daunting to put myself and my life out on the internet. Putting that all aside I want to share my journey to accepting myself for who I really am. I hope this will help you with your own journey to self love.

Over the past year I have been on a self love journey. Don’t get me wrong, it’s had its ups and downs. However, I think I’m finally finding the importance of why it’s so vital to love yourself.

I used to hate myself and everything I did. I was a perfectionist, and let’s face it, I can’t be good at everything. And life is by no means perfect.

How you can achieve self love

On my self-love project I made myself one main promise. To always forgive myself no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. This completely transformed the way I thought and behaved. At times this was so difficult and felt impossible to ever do, but here I am today with more respect for myself and my body than ever before.

Goal #1 Forget what you have been told by other people

At some point in everyone’s life, we’ve been told lies that we start believing as true. Whether that be from a friend, teacher, coach, family member or a bully. Everything negative anyone has ever said should just be forgotten. It’s time to think for yourself and think what you want to believe about yourself.

To help me to improve my self love, every day I jotted down on a notepad a characteristic, belief, or view of everything positive I believed to be true about myself. I added to it every day writing something I liked about myself. Some days, I had nothing to really write apart from ‘I liked the way my hair looked today’ or ‘I am proud I helped my neighbour with their shopping’ etc. It could be the smallest thing. But all these things add up and makes you realise there’s so much to like about yourself.

Make it simple and write something you really consider to be true.

Some examples I included myself was ‘I like my nose’, or ‘I stand up for myself’, or ‘I held the door open for someone’. It may seem silly but, in a week, month, year, there will be a list of things you love about yourself.

When I feel down or helpless, I look back over at my list and remember all the nice things I’ve done for others. And of everything I like about myself. That may just be the little push you need to get out of a rut.

I find gratitude journals are great to express your feelings. Check some out here on Amazon.

Goal #2 Do nice things for others / complement them

One thing that really helped me learn acceptance of myself was to help others and see the beauty in them.

I made it my goal to try and do one thing a day for someone else and to compliment at least 2 people. Not only was it worth it to see someone else smile; it was worth it for me as well. Because seeing other people happy and smile made me feel the same way.

Just a simple smile can change anyone’s day.

Looking for the best in others helped me see the best in me. Different people’s choice in style, makeup looks, their bag, shoes, hairstyle. Whatever it was that I saw I liked, I made it known.

It can be extremely daunting at first (especially if you’re an introvert like me). However, it does get easier and one act of kindness goes a long way. This is a type of self love some people forget. Spread kindness with your words and actions.

No one knows what anyone’s going through. Even if they appear strong, resilient, and happy, it may be the complete opposite. Just knowing that something I said could have changed someone’s mood, even go as far as saying outlook on life, is very rewarding.

Goal #3 You are responsible for your own happiness and no one else’s

The only person that can make me happy, is myself. And this is true for everyone.

I found this a hard concept to grasp at first, but once I realised the power behind my own thoughts, it became so true!

I am a people pleaser trying to make everyone happy and everything perfect. Until I noticed that I was trying a lot harder than others in friendships and relationships. I’m lucky now that I surround myself with people that I love and love me back for who I am.

Trying to be in control of not only my happiness, but others too, was extremely painful and exhausting. That’s when I had to cut people and things out of my life that was no longer serving me.

Letting go of friendships may be hard. I let go of a few that I’d had for over 5 years. The thing is, when I did, I felt a huge weight being lifted from me. It was like it was no longer my problem. I had left that in the past, and in doing so, let myself open to new experiences.

I wasn’t being held back anymore.

Taking control of my life gave me the feeling of a huge power I had not felt in a long time.

Don’t get me wrong, I cherish every moment I spent with them, and I will never forget the wonderful times we had and the memories we made along the way. For me, it was just time to move onto a different chapter in my life.

Goal #4 Respect your body and what it does for you

A complicated issue for me is body image.

I’ve always had body image issues, and to this day it’s something I struggle with on a daily basis. It will probably be something I struggle with for the rest of my life.

You are not alone!

Some people may have great body image and be extremely confident. The vast majority of people, however, not so much. Even the most confident people struggle with this.

I constantly hear people say:

‘I’m too fat’ or ‘My boobs are so small’ or ‘I don’t like my skin’.

No one is perfect and everyone has a right to feel safe in their bodies.

Social media has a huge part to play in the way we thing about ourselves. And it’s not only unkind to you, it’s to others as well. So many people feel this and feel ashamed when in reality you are beautiful and shouldn’t think any different!

One thing I did that helped me was to unfollow everyone on social media that applied pressure to people being ‘skinny’ by selling weight loss products, when we all know they’ve probably had liposuction and don’t eat. It’s these beauty standards no one can meet unless you are rich and have a team of people doing their best to make you look like that.

I get so discouraged about my journey when I see famous people on Instagram. Most of the time I forget they are probably using a filter or have photoshopped their bodies. Sometimes, it’s even the pose that’s making them look like they’ve got a ‘flat stomach’ or a ‘big bum’. It’s still not what they look like 100% of the time.

Personally, I believe if everyone spoke out about this and made imperfections normal, there wouldn’t be major issues with people and their bodies.

Even though I have those thoughts, I’ve come to realise my body does so much for me. It helps pump blood around my body, breathe air into my lungs, helps me get the nutrition off of food, fight off infections, heal and so much more.

It’s amazing to think all of that is going on right at this very second.

Loving myself is so much more than my body image. And my body deserves love and respect for doing these incredible things every day. So does yours!

Goal #5 Be yourself and be open to self love

You may be thinking ‘be myself? I am being myself!’. Now this is one of the most important lessons I’ve learnt overall.

Being yourself does not mean be the person you have been. It means finding yourself from within. Many of us, including myself, put a façade on when facing the outside world, people, and the unknown.

It’s okay to be you. Be unique and quirky. Do things you love, even if you’ve hidden it in the past.

Show the world who you really are. You’ll be surprised how accepting people are and others may feel the same way.

I always pretended to be someone I wasn’t to get people to like me. As I said earlier, I’m a people pleaser, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable being myself. I’m not going to sit here saying it’s easy, but you’ll feel so much happier not having to hide.

I’m smart and I used to hide that by ‘acting dumb’ and having ‘blonde girl’ moments. Yes, not all were faked which made it even more believable. At the same time, when I put my mind to something, I would not stop until it was perfect or I knew everything I possibly could.

The only people that knew that about me was my mum, dad, and brother. The only way I can be happy is if I let go of all of that and be me. Be the real me. Yes, I’m a bit geeky and nerdy, but that’s who I am and I now accept that.

By being true to yourself, you will find the people that will love you for you, not who you’re trying to be. That is exhausting and time consuming. Wouldn’t you prefer to spend time doing what you love, rather than things you’ve told people you love because you’re trying to be someone you’re not?

Overall takeaway to improve your self love

In order to be able to love yourself fully you have to commit to one thing: yourself.

You need to be able to love yourself and respect yourself before you can expect anyone else to.

I found my journey of self-love hard. For me, in the end it’s worth it as I found a lot about myself that I had lost. I saw that helping out others didn’t just make them happy. It filled my heart with more love to give than before.

In order to do anything for anyone else, you need to invest in yourself and make yourself happy. Otherwise, you’ll be running on empty not being able to do as much or help as much as you want to, as you do not have anything left to give.

As I previously mentioned, the journey of self-love is one that you have to go on your own. Please, don’t forget that you’re perfect the way you are. And just by doing one small act of kindness can not only make someone else feel good, it also makes you feel good.

So I ask you now, what’s something you can do to make someone’s day a little brighter?